"demian": my best friend, creative comrade and maker of alcoholic beverages that can make you go blind

"sunshine/rachel": sister (six years younger than i), artist of make-up, taker of no shit

"the club": boys and girls club of america, where i warp the minds of children for money.

"dr. love": oldest friend, funny-man, sex pot, and winner of ben stine's money.

"cheese demon" sweet friend, recorder of sounds, teller of stories, fan of cheese and peanut butter (but not at the same time.)

"fishy alameda" ex co-worker of paul's, creative high school sufferer, 40 feet tall, surrogate little brother

"the store": the local video store where i was a wage slave

"the charmer": my video coworker and friend

"mr. obsessive-compulsive": my video store branch manager and friend.

"the Man": the general manager of the video store chain

"the Grand Pubah": the owner of the video store chain

"a.m.h.": movie star anthony michael hall