monday . june . three . two thousand two i summoned up the courage to tell my parents about my name change. if anyone has a right to feel pissed about it, it's them but they took it with amazing grace and humor. my mom suggested i make sure that their will is still legal and my dad has decided to call me melvin. it's seems like i've done so many things over the course of my life that are weird or crazy to them that they've just finally gotten used to it. and as far as i'm concerned, that's acceptance so i'm happy. i was on the phone with my dad last night when he panicked, realizing that the tony's were on. as we wound up the conversation he said dad (to my mom): who's that? is that harry connick jr.? he's the one i'm afraid of in the bathroom! this is a really strange thing to hear anyone say. but it turns out that harry was in a movie with a serial killer who attacks people in public bathrooms or something. now my dad has to look under the stalls when he potties in public. and they think I'M crazy. later last night, paul and i were dorking around on the internet together, thinking up funny urls and seeing what was there. we started focusing on monkey names... monkeyhate.com monkeynipples.com monkeydog.com (which turns out to be a sad, sad page by sad, sad funny man charles fleischer. did i mention the sadness?) anyway, we are typing and giggling and having a great time... me: try monkeyporn.com! paul: ohh! let's try penispenispenis.com!! me: (pause) man, i hope the fbi is monitoring us right now. - fin - (note:penispenispenis.com does not exist.)