wednesday . september . five . two thousand one paul went to the supermarket last night. one of the things on his grocery list was herring in sour cream. most people find this mildly repellent, but it's something i grew up with and it's mmm mmm tasty. he couldn't find it at first, and asked a clerk. she helped him find it and mentioned that she had never heard of such a thing before. while at the check out counter, the cashier picked up the herring. she read the label out loud. cashier: hmmm. herring in sour cream. and it's pickled? paul: ......... cashier: is your wife pregnant? paul: no, jewish. - fin - ------ saturday . september . one . two thousand one having been solely devoted to shooting this film project over the last month, i'm glad to say that there is only one more shoot left. it should be pretty fun, though. it's the movie's big chase scene, but it's with kids instead of cars. i've had a huge amount of difficulty finding fat kids to cast. according to the national statistics, i should be able to gather them simply by shutting my eyes and randomly swooping a giant butterfly net around. i'm not saying i tried this, i'm just saying it didn't work. so i did a bunch of research and found some casting places. they sent me photos and i chose the kids i wanted. now we have plenty of fat kids to go around. to make it clear: i ordered 7 fat kids. over the phone. like pizza. but luck seems to be with us. their was an extraordinary moment during last weeks filming. an omen. we are blessed. we were to shoot a scene with the starring couple. they would take a walk and happen upon an ice-cream vendor. they'd buy ice-cream and sit down happily together. it's pretty much the last scene of the film, and we wanted it to look sweet and easy. we were using a woman on a bicycle with a cooler on the back that said "ice cream" as the vendor. we thought it was cute. the scene was set, and we were getting ready to roll when suddenly, there were chimes coming from down the street. the crew went completely silent and we all turned toward the music, which got louder as the ICE CREAM TRUCK drove straight towards us. the side of the truck said "JOE" in big letters. i was giggling wildly at this point and everyone was looking at me like i planned it, which i didn't. i flagged the truck down and approached the driver who turned out to be a BIG FAT GUY. i almost cried. after i explained the project, and classified his appearance, as if on cue, as a miracle, he agreed to stay. we shot the scene three times and he rolled along. it was like a fucking endorsement from god. it was glorious. we now call this "the ice cream miracle", and when we need help, or confidence, we look skyward and pray in the name of "ice cream joe". i told you, we are blessed.