I’m finding little more than frustration lately, while trying to find a new path, a new job. Feeling stuck, trying to get unstuck before the money runs out and the bills are unpaid. There has to be a place for a new vitality, a new type of energy.
Everything is inverted. Everything is upside down and inside out. The only motivating factor is that I’m increasingly convinced that it’s not me that is the problem, but the current culture we live in is increasingly toxic. I cannot help but think that we’re in a period of increasingly rapid social breakdown. Sometimes I think the jobs advertised as doing the most good are doing significant harm.
I am from Yeats’ “The Second Coming”:
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
The world seems bleak right now to me. I try to reconcile that with my confidence in… what? What do I have confidence in? Why am I so unconvinced? Of anything?