friday . may . thirty one . two thousand two one of my coworkers found this drawing in a kid's cubbie yesterday. the genius lies in the simplicity. what i enjoy the most are the three (3) wavy lines. they have two purposes: they not only convey the action of pooing, but they also represent concentrated stinkiness. this shows the artist's attention to detail while not getting caught up in the minutiae of, say, clothing, fingers, or a toilet. and always remember: the children are our future. ---- saturday . may . twenty five . two thousand two i changed my name yesterday. it's easier than you think...almost too easy. you go down to the court house and file papers. you write a check for $60. they give you a court date and then the judge says yes or no. you should know that you're not allowed to change your name to (examples): "kike" or "spic", "burger king" or "microsoft", "michael jackson" or "walter cronkite". also, you can't be "476" but you CAN be "four seven six". i don't know why. you can't be "$%*&" either. my court date was yesterday. as obvious as it may be, it has to be said that real court is so NOT what it looks like on the tv. it's mostly a lot of linoleum and bad paint. i was called second, the first couple was changing their kid's name to something like "angela christina johnson mitchell gilano baker". the baby cried the whole time...can you blame her? the judge called my old name and said "so, you only want one name, right?" i agreed and then he made me swear that i wasn't trying to commit fraud or evade debts. i swore. then, he told us that he had a guy come the other day and change his name to "truth". judge: he said something about a rock band, but i'm too old to know about these things. i just gave him the benefit of the doubt. (giggle) he was a cool judge. then he said "so ordered" and as he handed the papers to the court clerk, he smiled at her slightly bemused and not at all judgmental and said "moxie!" which is my name now. and that's all. i mean, i have to go and change all the official stuff in my life, like post office, bank account, driver's license, etc. the only thing i'm not changing is my birth certificate because that just doesn't seem right to me. i was born melisa lieberman...i just became moxie somehow. but i was thinking about this whole thing as related to a tattoo, which is another careful important decision. now, i've never been one to enjoy the pain of a tattoo, but when you sit in that chair and they start with the needles, you damn well know your life is changing. you leave exhausted and aching and it takes a week or so to heal and recover and by the end, you've EARNED that tattoo. but with this name thing, like i said...it's almost too easy. you walk away feeling really strange because everything is different, but you have nothing to show for it. i'm thinking that the judge should have done me the favor of sucker punching me or something. that'd have more....impact, i guess. actually, they probably do that in new york and maybe texas, now that i think about it. my friends decided we should have a big party to serve as a right of passage. but i'll be pissed if somebody sucker punches me...that's something only a judge should do.