tuesday . july . eleven . two thousand what the hell is going on with the harry potter phenomenon? when the first wave hit, i tried to avoid a knee jerk reaction but it just keeps getting bigger. i am extremely suspect of stuff that people are relentlessly insistent about, like steven speilberg or pizza or capitalism. warning sign: i searched the web for anti-harry potter web sites to link to this little rant, and i COULDN'T FIND ONE. do you understand that you can find critical web pages about mother teresa, and people who hate cheese, but apparently harry potter can do no wrong. you would think that a worldwide spectacle like harry potter would spurn other volatile people like me. they should be cropping up like mushrooms in a pile of manure, but i can't find them. so the big release of the big new book was last week and people completely lost their minds. the book features some kind of lightning icon and the barnes and noble folks were painting little lightning graphics on the foreheads of kids and adults alike. tons of these people bearing the mark of the beast, i mean - the book - walking around. are you paying attention!!? ** people were being anointed with the sign of harry potter ** ok, so yeah yeah the books are fantastic, and yeah yeah they aren't just for the kids, and yeah yeah they are magical, and yeah yeah i'm narrow minded or whatever but harry potter can suck my dick. proverbially. -- saturday . july . one . two thousand sunshine was in town this week and we went up the space needle. although, i should mention that it isn't really called "the space needle". when passing it in our car or on the bus, paul and i refer to as "my space needle". i got a feeling about it when we arrived here and i decided that it belongs to me. i am in charge. however, i had never been there before. even though it costs $3.4 million dollars to enter (per person), i enjoyed it. nice view, FUNNY tourists. there was a german family there. their 10 year old son was looking through the viewers. he got excited and yelled to his dad: "papa! look! ein telescopen!" which we, of course, yelled to each other almost constantly for several days after. but we added "schnell! schnell!" as we walked around to get the panoramic view, there was a woman in her early twenties in an official space needle polo shirt crouching on the ledge of the needle. outside the balcony and safety wires. there were several tourists starting to gather around her. some guy: hey! what are you doing out there? other random guy: yeah! are you punished? (laughter from all) girl on the ledge (standing up right): no, actually, see these white spots on the medal? (shouting and pointing to the beam supporting her weight) i'm sanding them so we can paint tomorrow. some woman: do you have ropes on you? girl on the ledge shows the elaborate set of trusses wrapped all over her. at this point, a few more tourists round the corner to discover ledge girl just hanging out, chatting with folks. new tourist: what are you doing? girl on the ledge: see these white spots on the medal? i'm sanding them so we, i mean, so *i* can paint tomorrow. (she is now the only painter. last time, it was "we".) and now, most of the hangers on are sort of dumb struck. ledge girl is standing there with her thumbs dragging on the pockets of her tan gap pants. no one is really talking to her, or each other for some reason. but no one walks away, because, hey! there's a girl out there on the needle! sunshine and i sort of look at each other, smirking when another tourist comes around the corner. new tourist woman: hey! what are you doing out there? girl on the ledge: see these white spots on the medal? i'm sanding them. i'm going to come out here and paint tomorrow. little impudent boy: so. why aren't you doing it now? the question sort of hangs in the air above us. WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT NOW? ledge girl sort of half-stretches and squats back down to do her sanding, moderately humiliated. the crowd moves on. we go on the ferris wheel and eat blue cotton candy that is really good the first bite and progressively more disgusting every bite after that.