wednesday . june . twenty one . two thousand there's a new guy at work now. i think i'll call him "the walrus". he was a favorite customer of ours. he teaches community college, but for some reason is bored, lonely and in some other way craving punishment of the retail variety...so he works at the store on his weekend evenings. what we have learned now is that a little of the walrus goes a looooong way. the walrus was not a great trainee. he has some issues with authority. also i think he imagined that, because he's a teacher and at least 7 years older that all of us, he wouldn't have to actually LEARN anything, or DO anything. he is highly motivated in the area of "free rentals for the walrus." i think he's finally got the hang of things now. we were creative in treating his learning disability (read: lazy-ass' disease). we would leave him alone for a while during a rush time. he always seemed eager to learn the computer system after that. but the walrus drones on, man. it isn't right. during the middle of conversations he will bust out with some obscure beatles reference. and when we say "i'm sorry, what?" he replies with something like "god, it's the beatles, '64. geez." which isn't that bad, but he continues, "you should really visit the classics." also, he'll launch into these comedy routines from movies i wish i never saw and he won't stop. he never stops. i say "you make me weary" a lot these days. a few days ago, i found a wallet in the store. i looked inside for i.d. and it was my friend "chatty cathy's". i noticed there wasn't any money in it, so i took a dollar from my purse and slid it in there. i thought it'd be cool for her to think she lost her wallet and then gain a dollar. i called her work and told her to pick it up at the store and i left soon after. the next day, chatty cathy called me: chatty c: you want to hear something weird about the walrus? me: uh, yes i do! chatty c: when i went to the store to get my wallet last night, i noticed i had a dollar that i'm sure wasn't there before. me: (giggly silence) chatty c: so i told the walrus, 'that's weird. there's a dollar in here." and the walrus said, 'I PUT IT THERE'. isn't that weird? the walrus gave me a dollar? me: (shocked) NU UH!! it was me! chatty c: oh man. he is so much weirder than we thought. and i haven't seen him since. i wonder what i should do, because what he did was serious bad ju ju. -- wednesday . june . fourteen . two thousand our living room window faces a busy street. we are close to the freeway, so we get a lot of traffic, trucks, busses going by at all hours. we are also relatively close to a mcdonald's. and sometimes, during the late evening, paul and i have been watching a movie when we glance out the window to find a gigantic mcdonald's truck go whizzing by. now, this is a relatively small event, even with the big bad noises it makes. that is, until you understand that they paint those delivery trucks. not just with logos, but with photos. so when we look outside, what we see is not an obscenely large mcdonald's logo, but an 18 FOOT LONG x 13 FOOT TALL BIG MAC WITH ALL THE FIXIN'S. this is wrong. i wish it was a baskin robbins' truck instead. the occasional big-ass ice cream sunday going by seems more tolerable some how. what i still don't understand is why/how they make even the BUN look GREASY. : - 0 -- monday . june . five . two thousand i wrote a new essay about paul today. -- sunday . june . four . two thousand i took a cab to work yesterday, this is sometimes necessary. my cab driver was this big fat guy, as are a lot of my favorite people. we had the Cab Chat™: how's your day? and: how long have you driven cab? and such. me: how long have you driven cab? driver: i have been doing this ever since they took away my license to practice medicine. me: ---- driver: -- me: ---- driver: you're supposed to ask me why they took it away. me: the thing is, as close to you as i feel, i don't want to upset the delicate balance or cross the boundaries of the cab-ee / cab-er relationship. driver: naw, you can ask me. really. me: -- so why did they.... driver: because they caught me having sex with a patient. me: --- driver: and it's a shame, because i was a damn good vet!! me: and you LOVE to tell that story! driver: yes! yes i do! - fin- -- saturday . june . three . two thousand . addendum ok, why do people stare in our window and, when they see that i am staring back, they don't even have the courtesy to flinch or twitch or avert their eyes or something. their faces make me think that they believe i am computer generated, or like the pirates in that ride at disney land . . . lifelike, but not interactive. -- saturday . june . three . two thousand i am sitting in our new apartment. i am looking out the window and listening to street noise. this is my second morning here, but the first morning i have been here alone. paul is already at work. i don't have to work until later and i am eating cold pizza. there is a path to the refrigerator, but not to the microwave. the elaborate cardboard box sculpture is no longer at eye level, but still big enough to be considered the main influence in the decor. i was scared to take a shower by myself this morning for some ridiculous reason, but once i did, this place became my home. actually, that's not quite accurate. when paul set the stereo up last night, and frank sinatra started singing in our living room...that was the moment we Arrived. i'm sitting on our wicker chair thing. i am not sitting on our giant purple couch because paul and the boys were unable to force the giant purple couch to navigate the corner between the stairs and our apartment. is it possible to take a couch apart? there are people who know how to do that, right? there have to be. i must believe that they are out there, and i intend to find one. (determination or denial? only time will tell.) i like it here. i am "that girl". wanna come over?