tuesday . april . twenty four . two thousand i had a chat on the phone with my dad today. i find that as he gets older he gets quieter, which i believe is just a family trait. but he's completely out of his mind, as all the best people are, and today he felt like talking. he sent me a photo of him in 1946 at a friends' bar mitzvah. the one thing he seems to remember most about that event was that "all those guys were wearing new jackets and i'll bet you mine was a freakin' hand-me-down." then he laughed, which makes me happy. he's in the process now of getting together his high school reunion, which invigorates him. i LOVE the stories i'm getting to hear now. i've urged him to write them down, but as of yet, he's a little reluctant....or maybe it's just that he has digital cable combined with an unequaled ability to watch absolutely any fucking sporting event that happens to be on at any given time. sample conversation - me (on the phone): watcha doin'? dad: oh, i'm watching the all-star uzbekistanian polo championships. me: .... oh. who are you rooting for? dad: aw, i don't really care. - fin - he's also been telling me lately that one of his classmates reads these rantings of mine. at first i was worried, because sometimes i use the "f" word and then other times i rage, rage, rage. but he said that she likes it and thinks i'm funny. he also said that she was going to e-mail me, but she never does, so now i'm starting to think she doesn't exist. so, nu essie? you never call, you never write...i want you should contact me sometime. my dad said that every guy he talks to about the reunion says "oy, did i have a crush on essie!" i'll just wait right here until i hear from you...in the dark...by myself...worrying. ; - ) --- sunday . april . twenty two . two thousand one last night was my last shift at the video store. it was relatively uneventful...people were gratifyingly sad, they brought me some presents and cards and stuff. of course, the man said nothing the whole week. he knew i quit and never mentioned it to me. not surprising, but still surprisingly painful. and mr. compulsive/obsessive, my immediate manager and the guy who's supposed to be my real close friend, did nothing. we worked my last shift together and he didn't even get me a cup of coffee. ok, i'm not expecting fucking parades but there were customers i barely remember that brought me chocolate, he couldn't come up with a discount fish taco punch card or something? i feel weird now. i wonder if i made a mistake while knowing that i did not make a mistake. i suspect the coming week will be slightly fraught with self induced emotional booby traps. note to myself: watch your step, chump! but, i have this appropriately strange new contract position. see, there's this guy who wants to get an initiative on the ballot that would, among other things, require the mayor of seattle to sit in a dunk tank for half an hour once a year. it's the "dunk the mayor" campaign, and i'm the manager now. i'll be making enough cashy-cash to replace the video store so at least for a few months i'll not be forced to get a "real" job. this means i have to organize volunteers (read: nag the well intentioned into spending a lot more time than they'd like on this project), gather signatures (read: browbeat passerby's), and try to get us some press coverage (read: make an ass out of myself in one way or another). sounds like a perfect match, doesn't it? got any ideas? --- monday . april . two . two thousand one i quit my job yesterday. i've been there for two years and some change. i just woke up and realized: i'm done. i'm not miserable and i'm not ecstatic and i figured that's a good time to bolt. this way, i get to have the closure that comes from making my own decision in a time of relative calmness. people keep asking me what i'm going to do now. them: what are you going to do now? me: free fall. do i have to know? i hope not, because i don't know and i'm trying to get comfortable with that. change is good for the soul and the juice that comes from a free fall can inspire as well as terrify. i'm looking at it like an employment bungee jump, feeling the edge of the cliff with my toes and peering over in wonder. when my two weeks are up, that's when we find out what that first step into nothing but air will feel like. yee ha! people pay money for this kind of rush, you know.