monday . june . eleven . two thousand one my dad has been having trouble sending email. he is not completely computer literate and when he has troubles, i get these angry frustrated diatribes...i can't help it, it's funny to me. this one isn't so angry, because he was able to fix the problem. (note: he doesn't use a lot of punctuation, and there is a sprinkle of playful yiddish in there. please look for the footnotes.) From Dad Subject: re: Test! I just love the computer geeks MSN emails me with instructions with regard to my problema first you go to Tools in Outlook Express I can do that then go to mail tab mit (1) a click I am clickable then give ah click on properties so far I am clicking away then click on server Tab I am feeling like a geek then in Outgoing Mail smpt Box replace Smtp. etc etc etc with secure.smtp etc etc etc and only use lower case letters well by now I am ready for my PHD degree.... now the instructions say click apply then OK and click close to get out Wow a major accomplishment Prior to the instructions I was getting mail back for people like yourself that had good email addresses....so I send i out as a test and OOOOOOOOOOPS everyone that I send out never leaves my house. du fashtey (2)????????? prior to this I thought I was a computer genius and now I want to kill who ever gave me the instructions ok I reread the instructions and do it about 10 times Mom does it and it still doesn't work I try one more time and find that they left out one minor detail before you go to click apply one must click mit a check mark in a cute little box then you go to apply etc etc so I went from a high to a flunked out dope to a Professor it vorks(3) boruch hashem(4) I say to the computer such ah deal one little word 'secure' and a check mark in one box made the difference and this my children is why this day is different than all other days(5) love ya D footnotes: (1) mit = with (2) du fashtey? = you understand? (3) vorks = works (4) boruch hashem = thank god (5) and this my children is why this day is different than all other days = a reference to the jewish holiday, passover -- monday . june . four . two thousand one so, i'm up at the top of queen anne today and i see adam arkin wander out of cafe ladro. he looked sort of confused as he walked to the corner, looked around, and went back into the cafe. he emerged moments later with a cigarette, and stood at the corner for a moment, smoking. he wore beige, and he wore it well. he gives me the warmies. he stood on the corner just long enough for me to contemplate a conversation with him. i decided not to approach him. see, i was afraid that instead of saying: "hi mr. arkin. i am a fan of your work." i would end up saying: "hello mr. arkin. would you mind waiting here while i take off my panties?" i believe i made the right decision. paul and i were out spreading the love about dunk the mayor, and a little after the adam sighting, we ran across this INSANE NAZI guy. he was standing in front of ladro ranting and raving to the uncomfortable observers about "inferior women" and "mud people". paul looks at me and says: oh man...i gotta mess with this guy. he walks over and starts asking him about his position on mayoral dunking, getting kind of agitated to match the guy's energy. the guy tries to stay on topic, but paul just keeps going: yes, but how does that pertain to the dunking of our mayor, sir? what do you have to say about the moistening of city officials, my good man? finally, mr. nazi man just sort of sighs in defeat and wonders off, muttering. and the crowd APPLAUDES. it was BEAUTIFUL.